Hurricane Katrina Recovery - Team Journals

Katrina Recovery Team from Antioch
Left to Right: Anders Goranson, Claire Dunnett, Stephanie Miller, Kate Airey, Alison Roy, Vanessa Partridge, Michael Brodeur.

Photo slideshow 1
Photo slideshow 2

March 9, 2006
Katrina Note, Stephanie Miller

Today was a day filled with many emotions. We went to the Monteleone Hotel to speak with hotel staff that had lost their homes in Katrina and have been living at the hotel since or had at least lived there for several months. We spoke with 8 hotel staff, from all different socioeconomic status, class, race, and gender. Yet, they all lost their homes. It occurred to me that the hurricane didn't only affect the poor or minority, but that the hurricane affected everyone, no matter what their status was. They were all going through the same experiences, struggles, and fears, yet continued to have faith that everything would be OK. This resiliency, shared among all of them, was impressive to no end. None of them expressed a bleak or pessimistic attitude about the future, but rather an optimistic outlook, underlined with such a strong faith in God and themselves, moving forward knowing that things could have been worse. They talked about the events during those few days, how it affected them, and how it changed them as a person and as a community. It was interesting to see how many were eager to come back, to get back into a routine, get back to work, and start to rebuild. Working at the hotel not only brought back routine into their lives, but also a sense of community, hope, and friendship. The staff was able to talk to each other about the hurricane, knowing that what they shared in common was their experience. I was just really in awe how they were able to continue and live after such devastation and loss.

There were some common themes that I found throughout their stories. One was that everyone, on the morning of the hurricane, had an eerie feeling about the day, as if something bad was going to happen. They also vividly described the aftermath as dead, all mentioning that there was no grass. They also described the hurricane as manmade, because it wasn't the actual hurricane that caused the damage, but that it was because of the levy's and the poor construction of them. Another theme that was apparent was that next time, they are “getting out.” They also discussed about the struggle with insurance companies and FEMA. They way in which they described the difficult process of insurance coverage or lack there of, angered me. How could the insurance companies do this and get away this? One story that was mentioned was that of a lady, who's house moved off the foundation and hit the house next to her. When dealing with her insurance, they stated that they would not cover it because she did not have collision insurance. How utterly ridiculous!!!

After the meetings, I felt that as an outsider, despite all the media coverage that I had over the past several months, I knew nothing. The story that the media has been telling was radically different than the survivors' stories. As one person stated “you can watch it on the t.v, and turn it off. But, we cant…we live it” I think its important that we as a team, share this information and let everyone know the real story, the human experiences and struggles that these people went through.. tell not our story, but their story. I know now that these people will move on, will rebuild, and will survive. As another person stated, “we will rebuild, whether you help us or not” This is truly a story of determination and resiliency in the face of disaster.

March 10, 2006
Katrina Note, Stephanie Miller

This morning we left the retreat center at 7:30 am to arrive at Common Grounds for 7:45. We arrived a bit early, so decided to get some breakfast so that we would have enough energy for the day's work that was ahead. We all then went outside to for the daily meeting outside of St. Mary's school. There were about 100 volunteers, primarily composed of college students who were currently on their spring break. But, it was interesting to note that all the students were white, there to help families and a community of all black individuals. Before we headed off to our assigned location, we suited up with our tyvex suit, respirator, goggles, boots, and gloves. We waited anxiously for out crew leader, Brendon, to show up and lead us to the house that we would be gutting. While I waited with the rest of my team, I looked around the 9th Ward, in complete disgust and sadness. It was so bleak, dreary, and abandoned. Although, for a minute, you could imagine what the neighborhood looked like pre Katrina, full of color, life, and happiness. The houses themselves were pretty, all uniquely different. It felt like this neighborhood was extremely connected and close. Now, the scene was different, with a sparse number of people still living there, who were trying to rebuild their house.

Brendon finally met us, so we all got into the van and were off to our destination. We dropped off Gargi first to the Women's shelter, since she felt she could be more help there and wanted to listen to stories and the women and their struggles since Katrina. After some direction confusion, we arrived at the house in the 9th ward that we would be spending the day gutting. As we pulled up, we saw an older lady sitting on the porch. I immediately knew this was the homeowner. We parked, and apologized for our tardiness. She said she needed to borrow a cell phone to call her sister because her cell phone had been stolen. She was in her late 60's, a very spunky lady for her age and her circumstances. She was happy we were there and told us that a friend has recommended Common Grounds to her. I decided to go in first, so get a first hand look of the damage, and it was extensive! There was mold everywhere, reaching about 2 inches on the walls. You could see the waterline on the walls, which was about 5 feet up. The furniture was gone and already on the sidewalk, which the homeowner said she had been doing. She told us she was living with a friend a couple streets over. As I walked around a bit longer, I noticed the bathroom, seeing huge dead insects in the bathroom. I knew we had our work cut out for us. Then the days work started, taking out rugs, cabinets, sinks, fireplaces, and counters. We pulled out the baseboards and tore down the walls down to the beams. It was a long day, full of sweat and hard work, but also was fulfilling in that we were helping someone who desperately need it.

After we were done, I left feeling both fulfilled yet anger and sadness. How could the city neglect such a neighborhood? Was it a racial issue? Anyway, I did feel good about my hard work but was also glad that I was done.

March 11, 2006
Katrina Note, Stephanie Miller

I'm not even sure that writing this process not will even do justice to what I saw today. Today we did two things: we checked out the one free medical clinic and went out a tour of the lower ninth ward with Dr. Z, a local psychologist who worked at the University of New Orleans. First of all, we all headed to the medical clinic to check it out and see if we could talk to anyone. We had to first wait outside the house that contained storage and trained the staff. They told us the were sure what we could do, but that maybe we could observe some of the patients and that maybe a couple of us could go inside the clinic. They also noted that they needed help filing, etc. and that they could use our help to do that. We anxiously awaited, although unsure of what help we could be to the clinic. I noticed they were training med students or RN's in the house, and I wondered if we as psychologists in training would be useful or if we would get in the way.

Soon thereafter, we were directed to head to the med clinic. As we walked towards the building, you could easily notice how small it was. It was even more apparent when I walked in. The clinic was probably no bigger than a large room, with a few very small side rooms attached. It was definitely not adequate room to be the only med clinic in the area. As we waited to be given directions to what we would be doing, I had this feeling in my stomach that we were not needed and would be more of a stress than relief. As I looked around at the others, I could sense they felt the same thing. So, we decided to call a team meeting, so figure out what our next step would be. We all concurred that our group was unable to be of service to them, and that we were just too big of a group to work in such a small area, and that this was cause unnecessary stress.

So, before we left, we gave them a bag full of medical supplies which the clinic greatly appreciated. Although I thought the free med clinic was a great idea, I also thought that there needed to be many more of these clinics to service the hundreds of people that needed them. Such a small and single med clinic was simply not enough…there was just so much more that the people down here needed that was just being provided.

After we left, we headed back to the center and waited for Dr. Z to arrive to take us on our tour. He arrived and we all hopped into the van and headed towards the lower 9th ward. This section, we were told, was completely devastated. I sat in the van, wondering what I would see. I thought I had prepared myself enough to handle what we were about to see, but nothing could have prepared me for this.

We arrived, and I think my mouth just dropped. I can even explain in words the amount of devastation this neighborhood suffered. Dr. Z stated that 60% of the area had been cleaned up…I couldn't even tell. The only thing that was cleaned up were the streets. We pulled up to park and get out, but had to wait a few minutes because there were cadaver dogs looking over property that they thought there was body. We were later told that 500 people from this area were killed, and that 500 people are still missing. How could they be looking for bodies over 6 months later? and what did they expect to find? there is no way anything could be found with such debris and toxins.

We finally were about to get out and look around. I remember just walking around, in sort of a daze, unable to fully accept that what I was seeing was real and that I was in my own country. Houses were completely destroyed, cars overturned, houses colliding with others, personal belongings scattered all over. The air had an aweful smell to it, the sky dark and bleak, no insects, no birds, just dead.

In the background, a sound that made me cringe…a death toll…the sound of the pile driver fixing the levy….boom….boom…boom. WOW. I hate to say this, but there couldn't have been a more fitting sound to describe the atmosphere. As I walked around, I couldn't believe what I saw. This is just hard to even put into words. Steps were there, still standing, but that lead to nothing…no house. I saw the levy and we all noticed the only remaining piece of the barge left. Why did the government leave the levies in such poor condition? they knew about them for 40 yrs that hey were not up to code and still did nothing….I suddenly felt an intense anger that I've never felt before…I just wanted to scream. Not much else to say at this point, except that what I saw was a site that I never want to see again.

March 13, 2006
Katrina Note, Stephanie Miller

Today was another difficult day for all of us in Pass Christian, Mississippi. We went to a meeting with case managers across several areas, the first meeting they have had since the hurricane. The purpose was to get a directory of all of the case workers and mangers in the surrounding areas so that they could contact each other. It was obvious that they were only at the basic level of case management, and were just starting out on working towards helping the individuals in the communities.

Afterwards, we drove through pass Christian and decided to stop and look around. One word described it all…WOW. I don't think you can ever prepare yourself for what we saw, even being told that this area was hit the worst and that there was nothing did not even prepare us. For miles and miles and miles, there was NOTHING. There was no house structure, no debris, no cars, no life. The only evidence of life in the town were the foundations of the houses.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine how it was before….from what we had been told, I imagined a place that I would go on vacation, a place rich of history, full of beautiful houses. It was difficult to imagine, an image that only lasted a few seconds, because I immediately filled up with sadness inside…I just wanted to cry. I remembered what one of the residents told us yesterday, about coming to find her house. Her and her husband went back to where their house was, her husband already knowing the damage. As they walked miles to where the house was, the wife ahead of the husband, her husband told her to stop because she just walked by the house. She told him that wasn't possible because she knew what the house looked like…but he said no. She did walk by her house…completely unrecognizable and no evidence of their house and the memories that filled it. Rather, there were remnants of others houses, furniture, etc. I couldn't even imagine dealing with that, facing that experience of walking by your house and not being able to recognize it…having to dig through the mud to find anything that could be yours….knowing that most of what you had will never be seen again…memories lost forever.

I took pictures to attempt to capture what I saw, but my lens was not wide enough, not even close. 200 miles of damage that resembled what an atomic bomb would create. WOW is all I can say at this point because I think it's the only word that can describe what I saw. The only thing that is keeping me from breaking down as I think about today is the strength and resiliency of the people of Pass Christian, and their optimistic outlook that things will get better and they will rebuild and move on.

March 16, 2006
Katrina Note, Stephanie Miller

Today was a good but surreal day. I was extremely happy to go home after such a long and overwhelming week. I was missing home a lot and was ready to get back to my family and friends. Yet, things started to become surreal when I arrived into Boston and began the ride home. To come from an environment that was so devastated and bleak and enter into an environment that was thriving, was difficult to see. It was at this point that I realized how much we as people take for granted. I saw houses and office buildings standing, people walking around, as if there was not a care on their mind. Such a different atmosphere compared to New Orleans and Mississippi, where for miles, there were no buildings and few people with the worry of rebuilding and getting ready for the hurricane season. All of these people driving on the highway were most likely going home. I'm sure, as everyone has felt before, looks forward to that drive home, knowing that they have a house and family waiting for them. Yet, those people in New Orleans and Mississippi are not afforded that opportunity, the opportunity that we all take for granted and never question.

When I pulled up to my house, I had feelings of both relief and guilt. It felt great to be home and to be able to enter my house, but at the same time, I felt guilty that I was able to have a house to come home to. As I walked into the house, knowing that I had to face my mother, I had an anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. How would I explain to her about my trip? What can I say to make her realize and understand what I saw? And because of these feelings and questions, I somewhat ignored her and used blanket statements like “It was a good experience” and “there is a lot of devastation down there” etc. I felt like I could not justify in words how bad it was down there and knew that I needed to process the experience first before I told others about my experience.

I have learned so much from taking this trip, and feel fortunate to have done so. Yet, I still grapple with so many emotion that I'm still unsure about how I am going to deal with them in the next few days, What I do know is that I, as well as the rest of the Shakti team, plan on telling the real story to not only our families and friends, but the larger community, such as our school, local politician, etc. And, I know that I have come back as a different person, looking at life in a different view, and not taking what I have for granted-appreciating my family, friends, and peers, the life that I lead. I just wish more people could go down and see for themselves the real story, the story that has not been fully told and to realize the life long experience of being in such a unique city that continues to remain optimistic and strong after such a disaster. I will surely never forget this trip nor the people I met.